Alice in One Piece - a - Land
by osjojm
Summary: Hi, I'm Alice and right now I'm in a bit of a crisis. There's a bunch of pointy objects in front of my face held by scary men with mustaches. Between you and me, I think they're trying to kill me. And if that wasn't enough, I somehow moved from Canada to the middle of some freaking ocean. Help me, please? I'll give you cookies... OC (T for language)
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece.**

Warning: This is an OC with no romance. There may be romance going on with the other characters depending on how they work out in my story but the OC will have none.

* * *

Screams and shouts of: "A person just _appeared_ on the table!" "The world's ending!" and "My food disappeared!" awoke me from my slumber.

Groggily, I rubbed my eyelids and groaned, "Five more minutes." The mass of tissue, called my head, felt like somebody had crushed it with a sledgehammer, rolled over it with a truck then dropped it from Mount Everest. Needless to say, I did not want to wake up.

The floors shook.

I whined, "Stop shaking."

Urg, I thought that living in a tenth story apartment meant having nice solid floors that didn't shake. And I lived at least a ten-kilometer radius from the ocean! Unless I developed bat ears while sleeping, I was NOT supposed to hear ocean waves.

My brain processed the thought again.

I froze.

_What?_

How was the floor shaking? And when did waves become available in the middle of freaking Canada? Eyes snapping open, I blinked rapidly, adjusting to the glaring sunlight. The blurry figures sharpened and… my jaw dropped.

Cooks with knives and other deadly cooking utensils stood in front of me, ready to attack if I made a suspicious move. A mass of pointy weapons was directed at my face. Swearing colorfully inside my head, I stood stock still, not giving them an excuse to lop my head off.

Okay this was overkill. Did they really need to let a harmless, powerless teenager know that they were a threat by trying to kill them?

Their cold eyes stared back.

I realized that they did.

I paled further when I recognized people – no – characters behind the mass of cooks. There was Sanji, the yellow haired cook with long curly eyebrows and Zoro, a buff man with greenish mossy hair, his hand near his swords ready for anything. Ussop was behind Zoro, his long nose wrinkled from frowning at me in wonder and a bit of amusement. And of course Nami, who had bright orange hair standing on the other side of the swordsman, studying me curiously.

"Is this for real?" I whispered.

I pinched myself.

It hurt.

I punched myself.

It hurt_… like a lot_

_No freaking way. _

I started to swear with words that I didn't even know existed. Breaths coming out in harsh gasps I thought, '_How did I get here? Did somebody kidnap me and take me to a Cosplay convention for a prank?_

Somebody jabbed me.

"What are you?" A boy with a straw hat asked curiously, munching on a stolen piece of meat.

I flinched.

_Was this Luffy? _

"G-get the f-fuck away from me!" I shouted and backed away, being careful not to bump into any of the pointy objects. "Anyway, it's none of your business!"

Without warning, a fist slammed onto my head.

_SLAM!_

Tears welled up in my eyes from the pain. "Ow…" I moaned. Angrily, I turned towards the man who had hit me.

He had long blond hair braided into two and a substitute wooden stick leg that stuck out from his right thigh. His face was marred with lines of annoyance and it was even more pronounced from disapproval. He was Chief Zeff.

"Don't swear kid!" Chief Zeff shouted, his mustache quivering.

"I'm not a kid, you…" I hesitated. _Should I call him that? Would he kill me if I did?_

As if sensing my fear, he triumphantly sneered down at me, his mouth twitching into a smirk. I got annoyed.

_Oh no you didn't!_

Flatly I said, "I'm not a KID you CROSS-DRESSING old man! Besides, you're a pirate, why would you care if I swore?"

Zeff worked his jaw.

Luffy kept munching on his meat, like he was watching a particularly entertaining TV show.

Everybody else looked at Zeff a little differently. Silence filled the air as a significant amount of killing intent flowed from Zeff.

Sanji snorted. "C-cross dressing old man." Not able to maintain a straight face any longer, he started to snigger.

Others followed Sanji, laughing silently or loudly.

"How dare you laugh about the head chef!" Zeff shouted, two red dots appearing on his cheeks. When Sanji and the others didn't stop laughing, Zeff snarled, "Take this" and hit Sanji with his cook hat. The man, hit unexpectedly by a huge force, flew and smashed into a table, breaking it in half. But he kept on laughing.

The others stopped in fright.

"I'm confused. Are you an old woman, old man?" Luffy asked, prompting Sanji to laugh even louder. Luffy smiled happlily.

Zeff took calming breaths, "Don't you have eyes?" He roared. Kicking his wooden leg up, he slammed it down onto Luffy's head. My eyes widened. The leg had made a dent in Luffy's skull. This was either special effects or an alternate universe.

"I am a man you idiots!" Zeff roared.

A snort escaped my lips.

The old man's fist fell on the same spot it had hit last time. I clutched my head in agony. Impulsively, without censoring my words as I should've, I snarled, "You shitty old man! Don't hit me like I'm a little kid!"

Zeff went red. He walked towards me, his face enraged.

_I'm going to die. I'm going to die… _

"You are a little kid, kid." Zeff sneered down at me.

I felt another spark of annoyance. "Are you an idiot or what? Or could you be blind in your senility? I'm a teen, not a child!"

"You must be the shortest teen I've ever met." Zeff snorted. "Are you playing dress up to look like you're older, kid? Your shirt seems ready to fall."

"Hey, I'll let you know that I'm taller than most people my age…" My voice fell short. Now aware of my surroundings, unlike earlier when I was terrified by the mass of weapons, I realized that I _was_ short. Either that or everyone around me were bigger and taller because they were monsters. (If they were, I didn't doubt it.)

Slowly, I looked down at my hands and almost screamed. They were small, like grade school small. It looked like a child's hand. Shaking in horror, I glanced at a shiny plate in front of me. I was a kid.

"N-no." I stuttered, shocked out of my mind. Forgetting the people around me, I wailed, "I'm seventeen! Oh my freaking god! My height, my hair, my fully developed body… it's gone!"

The crew, the guests, and the cooks looked at me as if I was crazy. Zeff looked ready to hit me again.

"Its not real…" I muttered, trying to convince myself.

Luffy started laughing.

I glared at him.

"You're so funny!" Luffy said, grinning widely, showing off his teeth, "You should join the crew and be my entertainer!" A human elastic arm looped around Luffy's crew, including Sanji.

Sanji grew an angry tick mark on his forehead. "When did I tell you that I would join your crew?"

"You asked these crazy people to join our group Luffy?" Ussop asked, his eyes bugging out. He stared at us for a moment and said, "I'm the great pirate captain Usopp and you should all bow down to ME!"

"Shut Up!" Sanji and I yelled.

Zoro sighed. Nami looked like she wanted to either face palm or laugh. Everybody else stared at us with horrified fascination.

I said in my most serious tone, "If you're who I think you are, I'm not going to join your crew. You're gonna have batshit crazy adventures and I don't want to get caught up in it. Besides, in less then two days Don–"

Suddenly I felt a painful sensation in my gut and doubled over, not able to complete my sentence.

"Arrg…" I groaned.

Zeff frowned. "You alright ki-."

The man suddenly stiffened, as did the other people in the floating restaurant. In fact, the wine glass that Luffy knocked over stopped mid-air.

_What's going on? Did Cronus come to visit?_

I didn't have time to contemplate it any further. The pain - I felt like I swallowed blue flames and the flames were burning my stomach slowly. I dropped down to my knees. This was worse that the time I had diarrhea for a week.

"Fuckity fuck!" I groaned.

"Nyyyyyyan, you're not supposed to do that Nyyyyyyan!" a high-pitched voice drawled.

Miraculously at the same time, the intense pain vanished.

_What the Hell?_

I stared.

In front of me was a man wearing a black suite without pants, revealing bright green underwear. But insanely enough, that wasn't the most bizarre part of him. On top of his head were cat ears the size of hands. And sticking out of his green underwear was a tail, a cattail to be exact.

I inched away from the man.

"You're not supposed to tell them about their future Nyyyyyan." The man replied, swaying slightly from side to side. The man looked quite drunk, holding a liquor bottle that was filled with a bluish green fluid.

Without thinking, I blurted, "What are you?"

He glared at me.

"I mean… who are you?"

It wasn't my fault I called him a what. He didn't look human.

"I am what you would commonly refer to as God."

I blinked. "I've never heard of a god like you."

He sighed. "The only Gods you know are those who are incredibly idealistic or narcissistic, most of us don't bother with you mortals Nyyyyan. If we did, you'd have several billion religions by now and every one of you would be fighting to create a cult because there's more gods than humans Nyyyyan."

"Oh…" There wasn't much to say to that. "Then did you do this?" I gestured to time that had stopped.

"Of course, Nyyyyyan!"

"Why?" I asked.

_No way he's a god. He probably staged this whole incident as a prank. But if I want to get out of here so I might as well humor him. _

For a second, a hard glint entered the man's eyes but it passed quickly.

I shuddered. It was probably nothing. Besides, he had nothing to be angry about… unless he'd read my thoughts. But that wasn't possible, normal people didn't have telepathy.

"I told you before," He said, rolling his eyes, "Because you were going to tell them their future Nyyyyan!"

"So you brought me here?" I asked, annoyed by his nonchalant attitude.

The man nodded.

"Why?" I shouted.

The man stared at me with his red-rimmed eyes. He groaned, "Don't you remember me Nyyyyan? Don't you remember what happened Nyyyyan?"

"What are you talking about?" I snapped.

The man sighed again.

"The cute kitty?" He questioned.

I frowned.

The man sighed for the third time and snapped his fingers. In a puff of smoke, he turned into a black adorable kitten with a green stripe that ran across his middle.

"Do you remember now Nyyyyyan?" He, no, the cat asked in a Do-you-finally-understand-you-idiot tone.

I gaped. This wasn't possible. Men couldn't turn into kittens. Was he a god after all? But more importantly, I remembered that kitten.

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Thank you for reading. Please follow, favorite, or comment on your way out - they help me write tremendously.


	2. Adoption?

**Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece no matter how much I would love to.**

Silvenstien and pizzafan123 - Thank you for your reviews! XD And Alice is 16 on Earth but turned 8 in this dimension.

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(In the real world three hours ago)

It was three o'clock in the morning and I was staring out of my balcony wondering when the hell I was going to fall asleep. As a terrible insomniac, I can't sleep most days unless I'm close to exhaustion. So why did I talk to my mother right before bed? I knew that my insomnia would get exponentially worse when I'm stressed. And my mom was stress itself. She made me wonder all sorts of things about my existence.

But I did talk to her and was now in a state of half consciousness. Feeling as if I was in the borderline between dream and reality, I felt as if I couldn't control my body.

_Wonderful._

Not only did I feel like a zombie, my eyes were burning, my body ached in all the annoying places, and my brain – sometimes I wished I had enough courage to throw myself off the balcony – was burning.

After thirty more minutes of this hell, I went for a walk.

I found myself in the middle of a usually congested street - that wasn't so congested because it was the "witching" hour - wearing my humongous flasher coat that was warm and soft with a sweater and sweatpants underneath. Around me, the wind was blowing harshly, making my shoulder length Asian hair dance around like hyperactive butterflies.

I loved it.

The mix of hot and cold against my body made me fully awake, not the dull kind of awake that I usually experienced with lack of sleep. My eyes lazily scanned the roads stretching to the point where the earth and sky met. I sat down on the street curb, not caring at the moment what might be on it.

Suddenly, I saw a greenish glow a few feet away from me.

I frowned.

I didn't remember anything like that near my apartment.

Deciding to investigate the glow, as there was nothing else to do, I went closer. When I neared I found a black cat with a green stripe running across its belly. It lay in the middle of an intersection sleeping soundly.

_There was no way it was real._

No cat had one stripe of glowyness! Unless… those sci-fi books were true and there were some mad scientists out there who injected jellyfish pigments into animals.

I watched from the sidewalk, waiting to see if the cat would move.

To my surprise it did.

It blinked at me lazily, focusing its cat eyes on me.

I stared right back.

"Nyyyan!" It said.

It was freaking adorable.

"Nyyyan!" I said back.

The cat blinked at me.

I cocked my finger at it, trying to make it come near me.

The cat, which I didn't expect would respond, shook its head at me.

My mouth dropped. The cat understood my gestures… or it was a really great guesser.

Smiling slightly, I cocked my finger at it again.

The cat sharply turned its head away from me and I distinctly heard a snort.

It understood what I was gesturing! Which shouldn't be possible because it didn't have perception like humans did, unless it was trained. But the cat didn't have a collar.

I was fascinated and hurt by this creature. Fascinated because it had the air of a human but hurt that even it didn't want to come near me. I consoled my self on the fact that other humans didn't like me either. Perhaps this creature was too human to like me.

Sighing, I sat down on the curb and watched the cat. The cat in turn watched me. Its eyes never wavered from mine.

We were broken out of our silent mind-to-mind conversation when a large honking sound warned us.

"What the-" I half shouted.

A massive red and blue gasoline truck was heading towards us, its headlights flashing. It was a meter from the cat, speeding up. The driver looked panicked. He shouted, "Get outta there!"

Ignoring the advice, I went closer to the street. "Move!" I shouted at the cat.

The cat lazily blinked at the truck, not moving.

In those few seconds, I didn't think, I ran towards the cat and pushed it out of the way, just in time to see the blazing headlights of the truck. The last thought I had was, 'At least I saved a life.'

* * *

"So you're really a god?" I asked.

"Of course Nyyyan!" he said indignantly.

"Then why couldn't you save me from that truck and leave me be?" I asked, quite annoyed. "You didn't have to drag me all the way here – wherever "here" is."

The god stared at me for a second. "Why didn't I think of that Nyyyan?"

I face palmed.

"But it's too late anyway Nyyyan. Your body's already crushed beyond repair in the human realm. I had to drag your soul into this dimension and put you into a body that I'd made."

I gaped. "So I'm really dead? This isn't just a dream?"

The calm I'd felt before vanished. I felt panicked. Before, I'd assumed that somebody was playing a prank on me, but now… There's no other choice but to believe what this crazy god was telling me.

"No no nonononono!" I screamed. "You're a god! Put me back into my dimension! If you could create my body here, why can't you create my body in the human realm?"

The god looked annoyed. He muttered, "This is what I get for helping humans…" He sighed. "I can't create your body in the human realm because you've already died there. There's a limit to how long the soul can remain alive in one dimension and I guess that was your limit. I'm sorry but I can't put you back Nyyyan."

"But what about m-my family? My friends?" I wailed.

The god cocked an eyebrow. "Do you really want to go back there?"

"Of course I –" I paused. My dream was to end up in an alternated dimension; I didn't want to go back to my family, really. Would anyone even miss me on Earth?

Taking deep breaths, I thought about my situation carefully. If I stayed here, there was no pressure of getting into a good university, dealing with family problems, fitting into society, and all that jazz. My life could start all over again - nobody knew me here enough to bring out the skeletons in my closet. But this world was much more dangerous than the world that I'd lived in. Luffy could probably kill me just by punching me. It was a wonder how I survived Zeff's punches. How would I survive here?

The god, as if reading my thoughts, answered for me. "I came prepared for this human."

I snorted. _As if this man would be prepared for anything. _

He glared. "I prepared for a lot of things human Nyyyan."

_Wait. Was this guy reading my thoughts?_

"I am human. Your mind is starting to annoy me. I almost wish you were brain dead Nyyyan."

Staring incredulously at the god who didn't act like any god I'd read about, I pinched the bridge of my nose. There was no doubt now. This guy was either a mutant or a god.

"Finally human." He replied rolling his eyes, "I thought you humans were stupid but you proved me wrong. You're even stupider." I gave him a death glare. I was not stupid. I only reacted as any normal person would do in this madness.

He gave me the 'oh really' glance. "Anyway, I often come here for vacation and know how superhuman some creatures can be. That's why you are in a body that I made Nyyyan. I installed some powers into you so that you'll have a higher chance of survival. You were quite pathetic in the human realm and I didn't want you to die right away."

"I knew a bit of martial arts and I worked out…" I muttered.

"But not enough Nyyyan," He retorted.

"Fine, I'm weak." I admitted sullenly, "but why am I a child? Why can't I be a teenager like I was on Earth? Enemies would target children more because they are vulnerable, I'd have an easier time surviving if I was a teen!"

He laughed. "I know it's not only that human. I know you took great pride in becoming taller than most of your classmates and having a fitter body."

I blushed.

"The reason is because installing powers into children is much easier than a teen. There's a less likely chance that the body will reject it. Besides, whether you are a child or teen will not matter in this world. Your powers are exactly the same but now your mind can match your body."

"Hey!"

The god grinned devilishly. "You need to stop interrupting me if you want to hear about your powers."

"Fine." I huffed.

The god smirked. "Good girl." He said.

I glared.

Ignoring my glare he continued, "Using a devil fruit would be too dangerous. It will take years learning the ability and you won't be able to swim. You're more than likely to die from being thrown overboard before learning how to control your devil powers."

Yeah, I remembered. In the manga, Luffy took years to control his powers.

"So with my everlasting kindness, I decided to give you some of my powers. But you'll have to find out what it is yourself."

_Oh gee, thanks. _

"Your welcome!" He said sarcastically.

How could I forget, he read minds.

"But how do I activate my powers?"

"That again is your problem. I've helped you enough with your body and dropping you into the best situation that can happen."

"What best situation?" I complained.

His smile widened. "Putting you in Luffy's crew, of course. Why else do you think that Luffy asked you to join his crew." He frowned, "Although... the boy does have a screwed sense of logic..." He muttered. "But they're one of the lucky crews that survive the grand line."

I spluttered.

"And you know the future. I know you were a hard core otaku, especially when it comes to One Piece so you'll be fine here. All you need to do is remember the battles you can't survive and hide from them. And it will be easy once you get onto Luffy's ship. You can watch while the hard core battle men - Luffy and Zoro - fight."

"Easy for you to say!" I snarled. I didn't remember every single part of this world, especially when Luffy when through about a hundred battles a day.

The god laughed. "I'll leave you to it" he said, ignoring my words. Then his expression turned serious. "But you can't tell them about their future or about your dimension. That information can change too much of the story line, even if your existence itself may change it."

I frowned. "Will it go into a time warp?"

"No," the god chuckled, "Time warps won't happen unless main characters are removed from this dimension. Technically, it wouldn't matter if you told them. It's just that the One Piece god wanted to keep the original time line but I bullied him into taking you using a favor he owes me." He grinned evilly, "Heh, heh, boy was he mad!"

The boat shook.

"It was a deal!" The crazy god shouted to the sky.

The boat shook harder.

The god shrugged, "What can you do? Anyway, he's short tempered, so I'd advise you not to make him mad. He can cause you unbelievable pain like you've just experienced… or worse if you do."

I gulped. "Wait- you said that there was a god in this dimension. Does this mean that there are other dimensions like this?"

"Of course." He said, as if it was the most obvious fact in the world. "Manga, books, and other fantasy articles that you read are descriptions of other dimentions. How else do you think _humans_ are able to think up such interesting stories?"

_Condescending much?_

He smirked and started to disappear. It was a good thing too because I was beginning to hate his face.

"Toodles!" he shouted and vanished.

I muttered, "I hate you."

Time flowed normally once more.

"Kid?" Zeff finished his sentence.

"Y- yeah, I'm fine." I stuttered.

"Be my entertainer!" Luffy shouted at me. "Be my cook!" He shouted at Sanji.

"No!" Sanji shouted back, grinding cigarette between his teeth.

I examined Luffy's goofy smile. I had no idea why Luffy wanted me as his entertainer. I wasn't that funny (or was I?). But why he wanted me didn't matter, as long as I could be protected. From the manga I knew that Luffy was a monster - he was unstoppable - and a man who got angry when his friends were hurt. If I played my part right, I'd survive most of the encounters with the big guys by hiding behind these idiots. Besides, this was a great opportunity, as the god had said, to be able to survive with no money, no home, no food, and no family…

"Okay!" I said with a fake smile.

"YES!" Luffy cheered.

Zoro glared at me behind Luffy, as if he'd seen past my fake smile.

_What was his problem?_ I wasn't going to kill his captain. (They were about a hundred times stronger than me.) I'd just not reciprocate the protection he offered me. Zoro should glare at Nami too if he were going to glare at me. She was going to betray them soon enough.

Immediately, Nami shouted, "Wait, she looks like she ran away from home. We should be returning her to her parents, not take her on an adventure!"

Luffy frowned and nodded.

My heart thumped. I-I wasn't a child and they were my only ticket for survival! "No –" I said, about to convince Luffy to take me.

At the same time, Luffy said, "Then we'll be her parents."

The crew stared at him.

"You want to adopt her?" Nami screeched, "But y-you don't even have common sense. And what if she has parents?"

"Luffy, a pirate king never has children abroad his ship!" Ussop added quite frantically, looking at me as if I was some sort of disease. I glared back. "And you don't know where she came from!"

Luffy nodded sagely, picking his nose.

"So we adopt her." Luffy said again, like it was the easiest solution in the world.

Zoro didn't say anything but it was clear that he didn't want me either, like everyone else but Luffy.

"She's a liability! She looks like she's only six!" Nami said, adding to her argument.

Annoyed that Luffy's crew wouldn't let me be one of them, I decided that I needed to defend myself. "I'm eight and I don't have parents so you don't have to worry about getting my parents permission." And hurridly added, "You don't need to be my parent either cause I can take care of myself. (complete lie)" The thought of Luffy being any parent, especially mine, scared me. Just looking at his face told you that his "teaching methods" were going to be weird.

Luffy grinned. "See!" He told his crew. He turned to me and said, "I'm Luffy, who are you?"

"I'm Alice, Captain." I said simply.

Luffy, having accomplished his goal of having an entertainer began to bother Sanji, completely ignoring Ussop's and Nami's annoyed expressions. "Be my cook!" He shouted.

"No!" Sanji shouted back.

"Yes!"

"No!"

"How about we leave the both of them and get the hell outta here?" I heard Ussop muttering in the back ground. I saw Nami nodding along with them. Zoro as usual didn't say anything. I didn't like any of them.

"Yes!" Luffy shouted and stomped on the ground.

Sanji looked ready to kick the boy in his annoyance when Zeff said gruffly, "Go become a pirate. I don't need you in my restaurant."

A heavy silence followed.

"Hey you damn geezer." Sanji said gruffly, "I'm the assistant head chef of this place so what do you mean when you say that I'm not needed?"

"Exactly what I said," Zeff said harshly, glaring down at Sanji, "you cause too much trouble with the guests, and if they happen to be female, you drool all over them. You also can't cook a decent meal to save your life. You're just unnecessary Baggage, holding this restaurant down. And as you know, none of the other cooks want you here. So whether it be a pirate or something else, it's better for you to get the hell out of here!"

"So that's what you wanted to say to me all these years?" Sanji's voice was dangerously low. "You damn geezer, no matter what you say, I'm staying here! Got that! Even if it's just to make you acknowledge my cooking or to annoy you, I'm staying! GOT THAT?"

Sanji grabbed Zeff by the collar and glared. Zeff glared back, stubbornly not looking away.

"How dare you grab the collar of the head chef!" Zeff shouted and hit Sanji hard with his hat. Sanji slammed into the broken table that I'd smashed while landing here.

Debris rained down from above.

Sanji shouted, "You can try and kick me out but I'll continue to be a cook you damn geezer! You hear?"

Zeff walked away. He didn't reply.

The heavy atmosphere was suffocating.

Luffy, unaware of the world around him walked over to Sanji and placed a hand on his shoulder, grinning. "He gave you permission. Be my cook!" That broke the atmosphere.

"As if!" Sanji shouted, irritated.

Suddenly, a large hand grabbed the back of my shirt. "Wha?" I yelled.

Zeff's face filled my vision as I was hoisted into the air by his hand. "You'll be an errand boy too. You broke my ceiling. How does a year sound?"

I stared, horrified at the man. "I can't stay a year! I'm gonna go travel with Luffy you cross dresser! Besides, I'm a girl! Are you blind or something?"

Zeff's hat hit me on the head. It was as if somebody took a hammer and slammed it on my head with pinpoint accuracy. He shouted, "Your captain's staying with me too. If you don't behave, I swear I'll extend it to two."

"OW!" I yelled. "Let go of me you cross dresser! This is child abuse!"

Zeff didn't reply, instead, he dragged me to the second floor. I kicked and struggled to get away but his grip was too strong. Below me, I could hear, "Hey errand boy! What the hell are you sitting around drinking for? Get to work!"

Zeff dragged me into a small room with one hand on my collar. He searched through a drawer, flinging out clothes. Most of the clothes were white cook shirts and blue pants. I was certain they were clothes that Sanji wore in the past.

"I don't need clothes!" I protested.

Zeff pointed at the mirror in front of me.

"What the?" I had clothes… but they were clothes I wore when I was 17. They were falling off like dead skin on my 8 year old body. "Oh…" I said, mortified.

The old man "hmphed." He said, "When I let you go, you're going to stay here and change. If you try running away I will to tie you upside down by the ankle and let you be gawked by customers until you behave."

"Fine, cross dresser." I muttered.

A fist slammed onto my head. "Don't call me that brat!" He shouted.

"Fine." I sulked, rubbing my sore, sore head. _Why did these people have to hit so hard? _

The geezer left slamming the door.

I chose an outfit like the one Sanji wore in the manga: white shirt, blue pants, complete with black boots. I looked like a boy. I sighed. There was nothing wrong with looking like a boy. And the clothes were comfortable enough.

"Are you done yet brat?" A gruff voice shouted from below.

"I'm coming!" I shouted back. I did not want to be strung up by the ankle.

* * *

Thank you for reading. I would love it if you'd comment, favorite, or follow on your way out.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own anyone but Alice.**

Warning: There may be a bit too much teenage angst and fluff. Prepare yourselves.

* * *

The following hours were the hardest hours of my life. I'd never realized how hard the cooks had it until now. They (Zeff and some of the bossier cooks aka Patty and Carne) had me washing dishes until my hands were red and bloated from the hot water. Then, once most of the dishes were clean, they had me scrubbing the floors of the kitchen.

Patty had bellowed, "Put your back into it, you have money to pay!" While handing me a mop. Mopping was harder than washing dishes, if you could believe it. It was basically a war zone. I had to mind where I was mopping if I didn't want to get hit by a stray elbow flipping an egg or cooks running at full speed to deliver an order. Plus, I had to mop every single corner of the place, never mind the fact that there were constantly bits of food dropping while the cooks cooked, otherwise Patty would make it do it all over again. I had several bruises on my body and possibly a concussion by the time I was done mopping.

And these "little chores" didn't stop. I took out the trash, learned how to 'finely' chop onions (Carne yelled in my face to do it over if it wasn't chopped 'finely'), set the table, and avoid stray elbows. During this time, Luffy destroyed anything he was set to. Many of the cooks stopped trying to make him do anything by the end of the hour. Instead, Luffy stole meat and talked to his crew.

I felt very sorry for myself when we finally closed the store.

Currently, I stared as the men cleaned up the kitchen and headed off in different directions to their bedrooms. Luffy was already gone, dismissing himself a few hours earlier to chase a seagull. He was on his ship with his crew, probably sleeping.

My foot twitched.

Where was I going to sleep? I looked – NOT hopefully - towards where the cooks were headed. I was getting slightly worried. D-did they expect me to sleep outside… or…

Patty, who was one of the last to leave, smirked at me. "No money, no room! Go ask your idiot captain where you can sleep."

Biting my lips, I turned away from him. That money hungry crook! I wasn't going to ask for a place to sleep in the first place! Besides, I was only entailed to work so that I would pay for the hole I had made while falling through the Barattie.

I shouted back, ignoring the faint tremor in my voice, "I wasn't going to ask!"

There was no answer.

When I turned around, they were all gone. I stomped on the ground, frustration enveloping my heart. At the same time the lights turned off. Aware of the faint burning sensation in my eyes, I stomped out of the Barratie and slammed the door shut behind me.

I breathed deeply in and out. I was tired and exhausted but couldn't sleep. I was in a fucking alternate universe where people had powers to blow up a town like an atomic bomb. I had met a god and was told that I may get blown up if I upset the god in this dimension. I was left alone to find myself a place to sleep after working for ten hours. But those facts didn't bother me at all, I was not going to cry!

_Imagine you are stone. You are a boulder, not bothered by the surrounding animals around you._ I told myself.

But telling myself this didn't calm me down. Instead, I could feel tears pooling in my eyes. Roughly, I wiped the tears away and walked and walked. When I reached a wall, I dropped down into a sitting position.

I could feel myself shaking.

_calm down, calm down, calm down, calm down, calm down, CALM DOWN! _ I whispered, staring at a plate mark in the corner. It always helped to focus on something.

My heart slowed a little.

Trying to think of other thoughts, I focused on the plate mark. It was strange to see a plate mark outside the restaurant. I hadn't seen any tables or any customers eating outside.

Unless they didn't want anyone to know they were eating?

Then it clicked.

Of course, it was the place Sanji fed Don Kreig's lieutenant.

Don Kreig… he was going to attack soon wasn't he? There was going to be a huge fight and everything would be in shambles and…

The control I was about to achieve broke. Damnable tears began to flow down my cheeks as the day caught up to me. I wiped them away roughly, hoping that the pain of the fabric against my eyes would keep them from coming. They didn't. Instead, my throat burned something awful and I couldn't help making small chocking sounds.

I'd forgotten how it felt like to be a child working into a fit. _There was no control. _

I clamped my mouth with my hands so that my sobbing would be muffled. I didn't want anyone to see me crying, they'd think I was a baby. Honestly, I was sure that anyone here would've done better as a child. Luffy was thrown into the jungle by his grandfather and almost murdered by Ace. Children in third world countries had to go through real child labor. There were abusive adults out there, beating their children! In comparison, I was having a great time.

So why didn't the tears STOP?

I heard footsteps behind me.

I bit my lips to keep myself from sobbing. I was going to stop crying and nonchalantly see whoever it was and insult them. Then, they would go back their merry way because they were going to.

But I couldn't. The tears wouldn't stop coming.

I curled up into a tight ball.

I saw feet in front of me.

My day was freaking complete, now everybody was going to think I was a baby.

A hand grabbed one of my arms and lifted me into the air. I kept my other arm in front of my face to block whomever it was that lifted me from looking at my face.

"Let go!" I cried pathetically.

The stranger didn't answer.

Slowly, I lowered my arm a bit to see who it was. I glimpsed a bit of green hair. It was Zoro.

"What do you want?" I ground out.

Zoro didn't reply.

I thrashed, trying to lessen his grip on my wrist so that I could get away from here. His grip didn't falter. I was too weak.

He lifted me like a log, his arm around my middle, squishing me into his hip.

"Fuck you!" I shouted.

Zoro didn't reply, instead, he tightened his grip on me and jumped form the two story high Baratie onto the deck of Luffy's ship. I gave a silent scream as his feet hit the deck.

"What did you do that for you stupid –"

He didn't give me a chance to complete my sentence. He threw me next to Ussop where there was a pillow and blankets and said, "Sleep."

I stared at Zoro incomprehensibly.

Zoro didn't look back as he stalked to the other edge of the boat and promptly sat down. He took off his three swords, putting them next to him so that they were in easy range and leaned against a wall. He was asleep a few seconds later.

I sniffed loudly. I hated crying. I hated my life. I hated that crazy god. I hated Zoro. I hated Zeff. I hated freaking everybody. And I hated me.

I glared at Zoro.

He didn't move.

Not able to get rid of the dark raging fire in my gut, I flung the blankets around me. It was evident Zoro wasn't going to explain himself. From the manga, I knew he could sleep at anytime and at anyplace and only force could wake him. But what was wrong with him? I thought he didn't like me. Did he get hit in the head too many times?

Thoughts raged while I tried to get to sleep.

Tried was the word.

I couldn't freaking sleep. Not only were my insomniac tendencies stopping me but with those imbecilic idiots around, sleeping was out of the question. Ussop constantly moved around and talked in his sleep about how he was going to rule the world. Luffy snored and chanted meat – How the hell was Zoro able to sleep?

Some minutes later, I heard chattering.

The sounds! I couldn't take it anymore. I flung the blankets off me and stood up. Immediately I regretted flinging the warm covers off. The sea breeze was freezing and the temperature had dropped dramatically from morning. I wrapped the blankets around me again.

Looking around, I found the source of chattering. It was Zoro. Zoro's teeth were chattering as he slept. Well then, was he too dumb to get a blanket? I mean I knew he lacked of brains but...

_Oh…_

_Fuck. _

Zoro didn't have a blanket, not even a pillow because… he'd given them to me.

My eyes burned again.

Fucking bastard. Acting like a Mr. tough guy! How dare he? Weren't those muscles useful for anything besides show? How come he wasn't warm? I walked towards him, ready to punch the daylights out of him.

Then stopped.

_Fuck._

I stared at the blanket I was holding.

I stared at the man.

I stared at the blanket again.

_Shit, shit, shit!_

There was no other choice.

_Oh gods, I can't believe I'm doing this!_

I slowly sat down next to him and spread the blanked around us. Zoro snorted. I stilled. When he didn't awake, I relaxed and slowly leaned against his shoulder. It was uncomfortable trying to sit without something to lean on.

His shoulder was warm.

* * *

Thank you for reading. If you liked this story please favorite, follow, or comment on your way out.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own anyone but Alice.**

* * *

I awoke when the sun touched my eyes.

"Arrg…" I groaned.

Feeling refreshed like never before, I felt like running around and jumping in joy. This was what sleeping felt like! I stretched slowly, making the bones in my back pop and giving a tingling feeling to my sore abused muscles. This was going to be a great day.

"Gnrg" Someone snorted beside me.

Startled, I screamed, "What the!" and shot myself sideways, slamming onto the ground.

Zoro snorted again and wrapped the blankets tightly around him.

Bewildered, I froze. What was I doing here? Why was I sleeping next to ZORO of all people! I slowly breathed in and out. Think! Think! What happened yesterday? Right, Zoro was somehow able to put me to sleep and he gave me his own blanket. Perfectly normal. I also went through some madness in the morning - meeting a god and being threatened by a cross dressing cook. Also perfectly normal. NO THEY WERE NOT NORMAL. Breathe in and out Alice, you don't want to suffer a heart attack at the age of eight.

Zoro didn't wake up from my outburst, nor did Ussop orLuffy.

I rocked back and forth like a crazy person.

Yesterday's events were somewhat understandable, even if they were mind blowingly crazy. But why did Zoro give me a blanket? Why did he bring me here?

Rock back and forth, back and forth.

Did he give me a blanket as an act of kindness? - No! He couldn't have, people hated me, HATED ME! Perhaps for a favor? - Yes. Yes, this was much more understandable. Though... he didn't seem smart enough to use this tactic, it was more of Nami's thing. Well, whatever his reasons were, I didn't owe him anything and he would have to suck it. There wasn't a contract, was there?

Assured that the way people treated me was the same as before, I stopped rocking and stood up. Though strangely, I felt a pang in my gut. It felt fairly familiar but... I ignored it. There were more important things to do, like revenge!

Smirking, I walked towards Luffy.

Yesterday, that bastard crook Patty didn't offer me a place to sleep, giving Zoro the opportunity to look at my pathetic form. I was going to make his life a living hell before I left this place and Luffy was the best tool to use. He was indestructible, stupid, annoying, and was the devil himself in the kitchen. Chuckling evilly, I poked Luffy.

He mumbled, "meat..." and rolled over to his other side.

I poked him again, harder this time and my finger squished its way to the middle of Luffy's arm.

I gasped.

Fascinated, I pinched a bit of Luffy's arm and pulled. It stretched like hard rubber. I pulled and pulled until I was standing up and let go. The skin snapped back to its original place with a twang. A giggle escaped from my mouth. Quickly, I snapped my mouth shut, I didn't want to wake anyone up but Luffy.

No one woke up.

Grinning, I grabbed Luffy's head and pulled it, walking three meters from where he slept. His neck stretched and he looked like a human giraffe. I couldn't help it, I started to laugh, silently at first but in full bellow seconds later.

Ussop jerked awake. "W-what's going on?" he shouted, flailing in his blankets. Then, he spotted Luffy's body. He screamed like a little girl. "L-luffy! Where is your head? A-are you a ghost?"

I laughed even harder.

Zoro woke up, clutching swords like a teddy bear. "Mph, wha?"

"Aha, HA!" I couldn't breathe! My diaphragm was spazing out on me. My hands loosened its grip on Luffy's head and it snapped back with a twang!

"Ahhhhhh!" Ussop yelled.

Zoro stared in confusion at Luffy's body.

"AHAHAHAH" I laughed. "Oh my god, your face!"

Ussop dazed but seemingly understanding what had happened, scowled. He groaned and mumbled, "Its too early for this." He wrapped his blanket around himself and fell back asleep.

Zoro dazedly looked at Luffy and went back to sleep as well.

Luffy didn't wake up at all.

Finally in control of my laughter but clutching my side in pain, I stood next to Luffy's drooling form, trying to think of a way to wake Luffy up.

"Meat..." Luffy muttered.

_That's it!_

"Meat!" I shouted.

Luffy shot up. "Meat, meat, meat, meat?" He grinned.

"Heh, no! Work time. " I smirked.

Luffy frowned. "I want Meat!"

I rolled my eyes. "Ask Patty."

"Patty!" Luffy shouted and sprinted into the restaurant, eliciting cries of "What's going on? Why is the dumbass in my room? Hey, someone catch the idiot, he stole my breakfast!" The loudest was Patty, he bellowed, "GET OUT! THERE'S NO MEAT IN MY ROOM! SO STOP TRYING TO EAT MY LEG!"

Patting myself on the back for the great revenge, I walked in a more sedate pace after Luffy.

* * *

In the next two days, I continued to help out in the kitchen. My cleaning and cooking skills increased marginally and I learned that Luffy was incompetent at everything but eating and fighting, literally. It was as if he was chronically clumsy, which I knew he wasn't. Weird. I suspected that he was pretending but for what reason I couldn't tell.

I also tried to activate my powers that I didn't know about. I tried focusing on every section of my body, tried stabbing myself with a fork (was I going mad?), and imagined objects in my brain - hoping there would be some sign that there was a power hidden inside me. Nothing happened except for the occasional yells to get back to work.

I hated my life sometimes.

When night came, I slept next to Zoro like a complete creeper. He had no idea that I slept next to him for he was usually asleep. It made me feel more than a bit like a stalker but I didn't stop. It was too refreshing to sleep every single day than not. I was addicted.

* * *

I was in the middle of removing a sticky substance on the wooden table when a loud "bang" disturbed the whispers and chatters in the restaurant. Don Krieg and his lieutenant Gin burst through the front doors half dead on their feet. They were a horrifying sight, more than the manga or anime had ever shown me. Don Krieg had a massive body trussed up in magnificent furs that made his gaunt face look even more like a skeleton. His lips were wrinkled from dehydration and specks of blood patterned his shirt. Gin looked slightly starved but not as bad as his captain was. But I knew that Don Krieg was pretending to look weak so that he could take over this restaurant. I gave them a hard glare but said nothing.

"Sorry for intruding... But c-could I have some water and f-food?" Don said a gravely voice, "If its money you want, I've got plenty." Then the massive man slumped over, not able to hold up his own body.

"Wha- What the heck?" Patty whispered behind me, "That weak, worn-out guy is Krieg?"

"Don Krieg!" Gin cried, trying to help his captain stand up. "H-he'll die at this rate! Please save my captain! I'm begging you! Please give him some food and water!"

Patty laughed, "Aahahahah! Perfect, just perfect! So this is what the infamous outlaw Don Krieg looks like? This is the perfect chance for the government to arrest him! Don't let him have a single morsel of food! Hey! Contact the Marines immediately!"

Desperately, Gin shouted, "We have money this time! We're paying customers!"

None of the customers nor cooks bothered to help them. They whispered, "Good riddance! Serves him right."

The lieutenant had tears forming in his eyes.

"I won't do anything. If you give me food, I promise I'll quietly withdraw from here! So please - please help me!" Don said pathetically. "I'm begging you! I don't mind if its leftovers or whatever! Please, just give me anything!"

At this point, I was surprised that nobody helped him. Don was a sniveling pathetic mess and he looked - regardless his gigantic body - like a kicked puppy. His acting skills were remarkable. The man should've been an actor not a pirate. Grinding my teeth, I flung the apron off me and ran to the kitchen, wishing I could stick a knife up Don's ass for his lies.

No one noticed me leaving.

In the kitchen I looked over the tools that the cooks had haphazardly left. Running my fingers over the small knives, I thought over my predicament. There were two options for me. I could either stay here and over look the battle while cowardly hiding behind Zeff, or follow Nami to her home town. The first option meant that I may or may not be killed by rogue pirates who came on board the Barattie. It also meant that I had to see corpses and blood. The second option was even more dangerous. I would have to avoid pirate fishmen who were ten times stronger than average pirates. But I wouldn't have to see killing and fighting.

I sighed, picking up a knife that was the size of my hand and another knife the size of my head and wrapping it in a dish cloth. Fighting and being in danger was fine... but seeing corpses and blood? I wasn't prepared for that - even if seeing them were inevitable - I wanted to put it off as long as I could. It hit too close to what happened back on Earth… Nami was the better choice.

Decision made, I stowed the objects in a small makeshift sling I made from a table cloth. Silently, I sneaked through the back door.

* * *

By this point, I hope all of you have watched the most of the anime or read the manga because we will be skipping around and you may or may not get what I'm talking about. Thank you for reading and I hope you have a great week! Please comment, follow, or favorite on your way out.


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